Portobello Pizzas

I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, this is delicious and I can tell you how I made this cheesy paleo marinara sauce.  The bad news is, the tahini drizzle is my friend @loveandwholesomeeats super secret recipe that she hasn’t posted.

In other news, I just bought a purse to use to put things in.  Usually I like to stack things between my fingers and walk like a t-rex so this is groundbreaking.  See diagram.whatthefuck.jpg

  1. Personal cell phone
  2. Work cell phone
  3. Car Keys
  4. Limp representation of my wallet?
  5. Day planner
  6. Water bottle
  7. Picking slips/quotes/proposal of some variety
  8. Banana (in case of emergency)
  9. Generally weak finger

So congratulations, me, for becoming a woman today.


Best Paleo Pizza Ever

Ingredients for Marinara

3 vine ripe tomatoes

2 tbsp olive oil

2 tsp nutritional yeast

1 tsp dried parsley

1 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp dried basil

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp garlic powder

Other Ingredients

1/2 green pepper, diced

4 kalamata olives, chopped

2 portobello mushrooms

2 tbsp tahini dressing


Combine all marinara ingredients in food processor.  In a small frying pan, simmer sauce on low heat setting for 20 minutes or until reduced.  Pro tip: Don’t skip the nutritional yeast.

Preheat oven to 350F and place portobellos face down in roasting pan and roast for 30 minutes.  Remove from heat and fill with marinara.  Top with olives and peppers and set to a low broil for 5-10 minutes.  Drizzle your imaginary tahini sauce and bone app the teeth!

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