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- A Spin on Mom’s Home Cooking (4/30/2017)
I truly love hearty homemade meals. The thing I hate is refined foods and the fact that hearty meals generally look like something that was quickly thrown together in a cafeteria line up. What I’ve done is made a regular ass meal and made it a little more visually appealing if you want to really impress your dinner guests.
I hope you didn’t think I was gonna just talk about the food and not go on a longwinded rant about nothing. First of all, I have a confession… I’m on day 13 of Whole30 right now. Myself and a friend of mine wanted to see if we could do it on the DL. THE ONLY PROBLEMMMMM, is that I haven’t written a post in over a week cause I’m eating like an actual caveman and you guys don’t wanna see this shit. I’ve already gone through 2 jars of homemade mayo cause I just put it on everything. I pan fried leftover sweet potatoes for breakfast this morning and put mayo on top. Words can’t even explain how weird my eating habits are when I’m on Whole30.
The other thing, relating to Whole30 ish… I got a tattoo last night and I was under the needle for like 2 and a half hours and I was so exhausted from the pain on my ribcage that I stopped at Moxie’s restaurant on Bourbon Street to take a breather. I looked at the whole menu and obviously there was nothing I could eat. So I sat at the bar alone and drank a glass of water and then left. If you want people to think you’re an asshole, go to a restaurant and order water. I NEEDED THIS OKAY.
What It Is:
Zucchini, thinly sliced using a mandolin and cut into circles using a food mould. I spread some truffle oil and sea salt over it and roasted it uncovered for 10 minutes.
Spiralized carrots with garlic powder and salt. Microwaved for 30 seconds to make it soft.
Free run chicken thighs, roasted with cumin, chilli powder and salt.
Drizzled with balsamic reduction.
Garnished with fresh basil and broccoli sprouts.
- Decorated Sweet Potato (8/13/2017)
I would have more to say if my fingernails weren’t burning from cutting jalapeños for my lunches this week. These guys were potent af.
I bought the edible flowers from Reclaim Urban Farm, and the coconut bacon and cashew dill sour cream from Urban Pierogies. Even if you don’t live in Edmonton, you could probably source something similar from a local organic grocer or a farmers market!
3 sweet potatoes
3 tsp coconut oil
A pinch of Herbamare Zesty Salt
5-6 fresh chives, chopped
8-9 flowers (WASHED)
3 tsp cashew dill “sour cream”
Preheat BBQ to 400F. Scrub sweet potatoes under cold water. Lightly salt with Herbamare seasoning and wrap in tip foil (shiny side in). Barbecue for 45 minutes or 1 hour depending on the size of the sweet potato.
Once they are soft, cut the potato open and lightly mash with coconut oil. Add “sour cream” and coconut “bacon” (lol) and begin placing flowers face up on the potatoes.
I sliced a golden beet with a mandolin and grilled them on the bbq. Sliced tomato. Topped with chives and balsamic reduction. Yummy!
- Inspiration and the Fruit Mug (3/13/2017)
“I get these insane ideas…”
I get these insane ideas and sometimes it doesn’t work out, sometimes it’s so good I don’t tell anyone because it’s how I plan on getting rich, and sometimes I forget if I don’t write it down and it’s gone forever. I created a new tab on my website called, “Inspiration”. For those times when you just want to look at gorgeous photos of food and also because a lot of the time my recipes are more of an idea than a recipe.
I woke up Thursday morning in Seattle with a craving for fruit. I had no idea what I was going to make so I made my way to the farmers market to see what was fresh. I’m that disgusting human being that needs to touch every single fruit to make sure I LOVE it before bringing it home with me. It’s an intimate thing. I grabbed a mango and my finger sunk into it and I yelled, “OH MY GOD ITS PERFECT!” The clerk that was working nodded at me like, “I know right”. I instantly wanted to turn it into a flower. When I got home and made the flower I looked at the bowls and was disappointed that my fruit was prettier than all of the china. My coffee mug on the drying rack looked at me and said, “Maybe I can help?” Unconventional, but maybe he was onto something. I threw my combo of tangerines and orange slices into the bottom and placed the flower on top. I filled in the cracks with RAMBUTAN (not to be confused with lychee, you idiot Kayla) and then chopped up a few pistachios and put them on top.
What I’m getting at… I could say YOU HAVE TO MAKE A BANANA TANGERINE SALAD AND PUT A MANGO AND RAMBUTAN AND PISTACHIOS ON TOP OR ELSE UNSUBSCRIBE… but what I’m trying to say is that you should probably put your fruit in a mug because it will make you feel awesome and happy.
If you would like to be featured on my inspiration tab, send me an email at email@example.com and you might see your art here too! 🙂
- Never Feel Restricted (4/12/2017)
<rant>If you’ve ever had the decency of clicking on my webpage, you’ll see that the title/my mantra is “Never Feel Restricted” The meaning behind it is quite simple; if you have some kind of dietary restrictions whether it be implemented by your doctor or just for fun, don’t look at it from this point of view: “I can’t eat this this this, that, and definitely not this, my life sucks.” Look at everything else there is to offer and roll with it.
Once you start looking at it from this perspective you can apply it to every aspect of your life. Never settle for anything less than exactly what you want.
Do you hate your job? Good. Put every ounce of effort you have into doing what it takes to get the dream job and don’t lose sight of it. If you hate your living situation, for example; shitty roommates, stuck at your parents house… Newsflash. You’re not stuck. Go on Kijiji or Craigslist and find a new place. If you can’t afford it, go get a second job.
This especially applies to relationships. If you’re in a bad relationship, whether it be abusive or as simple as “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just holding me back.” Then leave. This doesn’t just apply to my girls, this is for guys too. If she’s gonna play the game and reply to your texts once every 6 hours, what the actual hell are you thinking? You deserve so much better. No matter how lonely it gets in the age of modern dating, when your ex messages you after 3 months of ignoring you, absolutely do not give them what they do not deserve.
I literally do not understand what the fuck you are waiting for.
If you want to get fit and haven’t found time, that’s bullshit. I’ve had 3 jobs for the greater part of my life and have always had time for being active, making food and having a balanced social life. I’m not privileged or special.
If you love makeup and have always wanted to start a Youtube channel, I literally do not understand what the fuck you are waiting for. Monetize that shit.
If we lived in a world where we stopped marinating in our own bullshit for even 6 months, imagine where you would be.</rant>
- Paleo Chicken Shawarma (9/30/2017)
I probably eat chicken shawarma 5-6 times a year and suddenly the world is ending because I can’t eat it for 30 whole days. Holy shit. Anyway, so I made it whole30 compliant af. Also spent an entire morning studying Leb cooking to make sure I actually respected the process. Not entirely my recipe but I’ll reference the appropriate websites!
First of all, the toum was the best part. It’s a special garlic dip for chicken. I will refer to it as “garlic fluff” from now on because that’s essentially what it is. If you make your own mayo, you already have a leg up on everyone else because you understand how oil can sometimes separate from a mixture and turn it into actual vomit. This is a little more finicky than mayo so I used this video to make sure I didn’t waste anything. I read a lot of comments from people advising not to use olive oil because of the taste but I used a light tasting olive oil to make it paleo and it worked very well.
Pro tip: I used real lemon myself but while researching this, I read that using fake lemon will ruin it. Something about enzymes not being active in bottled lemon juice.
1 cup garlic
4 cups light tasting olive oil
1/2 cup real lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt
While that’s cooling in the refrigerator with a paper towel, I got ready to marinate the chicken. Using dairy to marinate it is undoubtedly the best option for tenderness but we had to kibosh that. I modified this recipe for marinade. Check out her website, she’s the real dill.
Juice of 1 lemon
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
3 cloves garlic, peeled and halved
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 pound skinless boneless chicken thighs
1 large red onion, peeled and quartered
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped flat-leaf parsley
Marinate for 1 hour up to 24 hours. I roasted them all on a sheet pan at 400F for 30 minutes and then on broil for 5 minutes.
1 head of cauliflower
1 cup, freshly chopped flat leaf parsley
1 tsp sea salt
2 tbsp olive oil
Finely chop the cauliflower in a food processor. Combine all ingredient in a large frying pan and sautee on medium/high for 10 minutes. I also made a simple side salad because garden.
1 cup chopped cucumber
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp salt
2 tbsp freshly chopped parsley
Bring it all in now. Lay the cauliflower rice down, place the chicken on top and scoop 2 tbsp of the toum next to it. Fill in the blank with salad and some homemade sugar free pickles on the side. Bone app the teeth.
- Potato Flower (4/2/2017)
*not an April Fool’s joke*
This fucking gorgeous display of potatoes I made today, drizzled with white truffle oil is out of this world. First person that comments “potatoes aren’t paleo” is getting a slap. I recently found it very difficult to digest sweet potatoes so I’m experimenting.
Secondly, today marks 5 years since I stopped eating pork so I thought I’d just add onto that and make today the day I stop eating beef. It’s time for me to stop being a hypocrite about my views on the world. I love steak and I live smack dab in the middle of Alberta so this is probably something I’m gonna get roasted for incessantly. I’m going to see if it’s possible for me to cut it out for a year, and also eat ethically caught fish, and free run organic chicken, unless I’m at a restaurant it will be an exception for the chicken. So, yay cows! 🐮
2 white potatoes
1/2 tsp sea salt
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil infused with white truffle
Oregano for garnish
You will need a mandolin and a small cast iron pan to do this.
Preheat oven to 375F. Slice potatoes with mandolin. In a pre-seasoned cast iron pan, line the edge with the largest slices of potato first and gradually place the smaller ones as it tapers in. Lightly salt. Roast uncovered for 45 minutes or until edges start to brown. Remove from heat and pour truffle oil over potatoes and season with remaining salt and oregano.
- Pretty Breakfast (4/22/2017)
If I don’t have any prior commitments on a Saturday morning, the kitchen becomes my oyster. If you are not cutting shapes out of avocados, you are not living! Unless you don’t like avocados or are allergic, by all means carry on.
Weekend cooking is my favourite cause I can actually take my time and think of what I want. Generally on a week day, I work for 9 hours and then go to yoga and then spend 30+ minutes driving home and I’m so hungry I claw open a can of tuna and inhale a tomato and gulp a mason jar of broth and go sit on the couch and think about what I’ve done.
Anywho, no recipe here, just plain old morning cuteness. I’m off to acro yoga and then hitting up the Edmonton Motor Show today and practicing self control. Nine times out of ten, when I see a 370Z I wanna say fuck it and trade in my POS Lancer. It’s a fucking struggle. Haaaaaave a GREAT day homies.
- Watermelon Coconut Stacks (6/26/2017)
I love that feeling when you get an idea and it’s all you can think about until you try it!
I hate that feeling when you have to go to 3 different grocery stores to find what you needed to do it. Apparently watermelon was a hot commodity in Edmonton this weekend.
They look cute, but you should know I have about 16 of them sitting in the freezer because it took me a bunch of tries to get it to stack. I originally made it with banana nice cream (which was delicious by the way) and they kept melting like the worst ice cream sandwiches sitting on a hot table. Not cool man. Finally got it right! This is such an easy summer dessert worth trying!
1 watermelon, sliced 1/2″ thick
1 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
1/4 cup almond slivers
Use a food mold to cut several watermelon circles. A food mold is ideal because you will need the food press as well. I used a 2″ mold for stacks.
Blend shredded coconut in food processor or blender for 1 minute. You’ll have a very thick consistency to your coconut. Place first layer of watermelon at the bottom of the food mold. Add 1 tbsp coconut and then another layer of watermelon and then press, hard enough that you’ll see some watermelon juice come from the bottom. Repeat. Garnish with almonds. Enjoy!